Thresh Read online

  "I'm trying not to assume anything."

  "Which is sweet of you, but I think we're past that."

  "We've barely known each other for what, three days? Four?"

  I tipped my head to glare up at him. "What's your point? Seems to me like you're working against yourself, here, buddy."

  "Just playing devil's advocate. For your sake. Would you be emotionally invested, if you and I had sex?"

  I kept my eyes on his, but my glare morphed into something else--something hotter, something darker, something intense. "Would you?"

  "Sure as hell, Doc." He touched my chin with a fingertip. "If I wasn't invested, I wouldn't have gone back for you. Wouldn't have taken out those guys. Wouldn't be way out here, in the ass-end of nowhere, getting eaten alive by fucking mosquitos. Yes, Lola, I'm invested. Not sure where that's supposed to go, or how I'm supposed to handle it or anything, but shit, yes, I'm invested."

  "Even though, like you said, it's only been a few days?"

  "I don't claim to know much about this shit, Lola. But I don't think we really get to choose who our emotions latch on to or how fast."

  "Who our hearts latch on to, you mean."

  "Yeah. That. For reasons I don't really understand, you mean something to me. The thought of anything happening to you makes me see red. Makes me feel all panicky, and Doc, I don't do panic. In my line of work, panic gets you killed.

  "But you get these feelings all worked up inside me, and fuck if I know what to do with them. I didn't even really know what it meant, but your dad very helpfully pointed out that it, in his words, rhymes with dove and that I'm scared of it."

  "Are you?"

  "What?"

  "Scared."

  He nodded slowly. "Yes ma'am. I sure as hell am. Because I've got no out, this time. Last time I felt anything this strong for a woman, I was a kid only a handful of years out of my teens, and I had an out, something I couldn't and wouldn't get out of. I had no choice but to walk."

  He buried his fingers in my hair. "Babe, I ain't young anymore. I'm not old, not by a long shot, but I'm not a kid anymore either. Which makes the potency of this all the more frightening. Because, yeah, we just met, and how can I feel this much for someone I barely know? But I do know you, don't I? I mean, there's a lifetime of little shit to learn about each other, but I do think you can know a person, the important stuff, very quickly."

  "So you're going into this with your eyes wide open?"

  "Very much so. No less scary, but yeah."

  "And if we start having sex, and I freak out..."

  "I'd stop if you needed to stop, I'd hold you if you needed to be held. I wouldn't let you run, and when you were ready to try again, we'd start slow, and get you through if, if that was what you wanted."

  "And if I said I wanted to keep things at the level they were this afternoon?" I didn't, but I wanted to know what he'd say.

  "I'm not sure I buy that, but if that's what you wanted, I'd find a way to hold off."

  "It would mean a lot of blowjobs."

  He grinned and shook his head. "Babe, make no mistake, here. You are officially invited to give me as many blowjobs as you want. The more, the better. I'll never ever get tired of the way you made me feel earlier."

  "I sense a 'but' coming," I said.

  "But a blowjob is no replacement for the things I want to do with you. The way I want to feel you. You tell me, 'Thresh, all I wanna do right now is suck you off,' I'll sit back and let you go to town, and when you're done, I'll kneel between your sweet caramel thighs and make you scream a thousand times. But it'll never be the same as how I can only imagine it'll feel to sink inside you, to feel you wrap your legs around my waist and scream my name as you come apart in my arms." He whispered in my ear, then, hot dirty secret whispers. "I want to bend you over and fuck you from behind, feel that fucking phenomenal ass of yours slap against me. I want you on all fours, taking me like the animals we are. I want you to ride me and I want to make love to you sweet and slow and gentle, and I want to fuck you rough and hard."

  "Oh..." Well fuck me...that sounded amazing.

  That sounded like my kind of heaven, truth be told.

  "And babe, no amount of getting my cock sucked will ever come close to how that'll feel." He tipped my face up to his, and his next words, murmured against my lips, were what pushed me past any possible objections. "Because Lola, connecting with you, giving you a part of me I wasn't sure even existed, much less ever gave anyone else...that, sweetheart, is gonna mean something."

  I palmed his stubble-rough cheek. "Then kiss me like it means something--"

  As his mouth lowered to mine, I whispered the deepest truth.

  "--And this time, Thresh...don't stop."

  11: NOT FIGHTING IT ANYMORE

  When she said that, I was done. Stick a fork in me, done. Shit, I was done way before that. Not sure exactly when, but at some point I'd come to realize that I wasn't getting out of this situation with Lola Reed with my heart intact.

  Then, she said that: "And this time, Thresh...don't stop."

  The moment my mouth met hers, I knew I couldn't stop. Wouldn't. Had no capacity to.

  But yet, for all her strength, physical and emotional, she was still fragile. She was giving me something special, by trusting me. I had to honor that. I'd never made it with a virgin, but I felt like this was sort of like that--in that same sphere. If I messed this up, pushed her too fast or too hard, said or did the wrong thing...I felt like I had the capacity to destroy her beyond all repair. I felt the weight of that responsibility, and it was a beautiful and precious burden. She had a core of steel, the strength that had helped her go on when her mom was dying and her dad was too fucked up to be there, the strength that had pushed her past the insane fucked-up disaster her cuntbag of an ex had put her through.

  God, the bastard who had done this to her...I could flay the fucker. If I got my hands on him, I would, probably.

  I knew for a fact, sure as I was breathing, I was gonna sic the boys on him. Lear would ping him, Anselm would track him down, and I'd--well, honestly, the guys knew me well enough that they'd never let me near him. That pussy little shit would pay, as sure as the sun rose in the east and set in the west; that was all that mattered.

  The fury I felt told me everything I needed to know, when it came to Lola.

  Little secret about soldiering: we're bored a fucking lot. So I've read a shit-load of books, and the fact that I was the first guy in my unit to get an e-reader meant no one was ever the wiser about what I read. I discovered sort of by accident the secret, almost illicit high that comes with those girly erotica books. I'd never admit it, even under torture, but I used to read the hell out of that shit. Long weeks and months surrounded by dudes, yeah, it gets a little lonely. Sure I had magazines, but I like variety. And because I liked to read, it seemed only natural that I'd read the steamy shit to help me alleviate the ache in my poor, neglected balls.

  Point here is that I'd read about this, about what I was feeling: Alpha male falls for the girl, gets scared of his own feelings, which he'd always dismissed as being for pussies and weaklings, and when he finally admits he's gone for the chick, gets all growly and protective and sappy and shit.

  Yep, that was me:

  Big, ripped, alpha male? Check.

  Fought my feelings until it was futile to pretend anymore? Check.

  Uber-protective, and ready to take on Satan with a steak knife if my girl was threatened? Check.

  Wait, 'my girl?' See? Fucked.

  I was in trouble. Big fucking trouble.

  "And this time, Thresh...don't stop."

  So fucked. And I wasn't even fighting it anymore. I was gonna run with this as far as it would go, because once I commit to something, I'm all in, come hell or high water, with every particle of my being.

  Her palm was on my cheek, her other hand was stealing under my polo to caress my chest, her big lush tits were pushed out, busting out of her bra, on beautiful display just for me
, and her ass was on my thighs, and...fuck. I couldn't kiss her fast enough, hard enough, thoroughly enough. I wanted to smash my mouth against hers and crush her with my kiss. But I didn't. I felt like she might even want that, a hard brutal mouth-fuck of a kiss, but it'd be a dodge for both of us. Hard and fast would push us way too fast past the difficult and intense emotions involved in all this.

  We had to go slow. Let ourselves really experience everything, moment by moment.

  So instead of slamming my lips on hers and devouring her mouth like a starving beast, I dug my hand in her hair, gathered a fistful of her long, thick black locks, twisted until my grip in that unbelievably long and shimmery, luscious black mass was firm and unbreakable, and I pulled her face closer to mine, bending over her so she was staring up at me, enveloping her with my frame. Drown out the world, block everything out, surround her with myself.

  I kissed her slow, sliding my lips gingerly over hers, teasing at first, dodging away when she tried to close in too hard and fast. Softly, tenderly, I kissed her, just lips at first. I kissed her like I'd never kissed anyone, letting my heart lead. Usually my cock was in control of the kiss, but she deserved more than that. I was kissing her--and in that moment I was kissing her only for the sake of the kiss, needing nothing more, wanting nothing more, delirious just to kiss her soft, sweet, wet, warm lips and never stop.

  God, it was like drowning and coming alive at the same time. Her breath mingling with mine, her lips gliding across mine, fighting for purchase and dominance, the kiss descending into frantic hunger, her tongue finding mine first, seeking my mouth, slashing and tangling with mine. Both of her hands were on my face now, holding me in place so I couldn't escape this kiss, as if I could, as if I would, as if I wanted to.

  And I didn't.

  I wanted the kiss to last forever; I wanted to live in this kiss, because it felt like I was finally, for the first time, discovering what a kiss was really meant to be, what it could be. Every other time I'd kissed anyone else was a shadow, a precursor, a pale imitation of this.

  Lola broke the kiss first, but she did it with a lost whimper, lips parted, big liquid brown eyes wide and impassioned and frenzied. "Thresh--" Her voice broke.

  She was feeling the intensity of it, feeling, like I was, that she'd never be the same, because that kiss had...

  Well, it had meant something.

  I'm no good with words, never have been, never will be.

  But I am good at physical things. Like showing her what I had trouble formulating into words. I flung the sling off and tossed it aside, grazed her cheek with those fingers, rubbed my thumb over her kiss-swollen lips. Let myself feel it all, because I knew it'd shine out through my eyes.

  She saw it. Oh, she saw it. No mistake there.

  "More," she said, curling her hand around the back of my head, pulling me back to her mouth.

  More, indeed. I lost track of time, kissing her there by the fire. Holding her, roaming her body with my hands, not caring about the occasional twinge of pain if I jostled or moved my injured arm wrong. Didn't matter. Touching her was all that mattered. Feeling her skin, her curves.

  I let her dictate the pace, though, let her decide what came next.

  She was the one to pull my shirt off, and then she guided my hand around her back to the clasp of her bra. I did the honors with extreme pleasure, pinching and releasing the clasps, then pulling the undergarment free and tossing it back into the dwelling--the fale. And then, my god, the silver light of night bathed her skin and melded with the orange glow of the fire, her huge beautiful tits pushed up toward me, begging for my touch, my kiss, her dark skin glowing. She sighed against my lips, a sigh that was equal part whimper, and god, that sound, it slayed me. Just tore me up, made me crazy. It was such a tiny, fragile, needy sound. Just a breath, a gasp, a whisper of sound past her vocal chords. And it made me absolutely crazy.

  I laid her backward across my knees, her legs hanging off the side of the chair, her head cradled in my good arm, index finger and thumb of my cast-wrapped hand pinching her nipples, my mouth descending to devour the soft tender flesh of her exposed throat, kissing down that elegant column to her clavicle, to her breastbone, each kiss of my lips eliciting a gasp from her. Finally, fuck, finally I had my lips around her nipples again, licking and lapping at the impossibly silken skin of her breasts, taking her hard dark nipples into my mouth and suckling one and then the other back and forth, and back and forth, until they were taut and erect, and then flicking each of them in turn with my tongue. She writhed on my lap, arching her spine up, bowing, thrusting her tits against my face.

  "God, I could come just from the way your mouth feels on my tits, Thresh."

  I had something else in mind. I helped her sit up. "Arms around my neck, babe, and hold on." She clung to my neck, burying her nose into my throat and inhaling, shuddering. I stood up with her, hooked my one good arm under her, getting a good grip on her ass.

  "You're holding me up with one arm?"

  I curled, lifting her higher. "You're light as a feather, sweetheart."

  She laughed and buried her nose in my neck again. "Show-off."

  I tucked my own nose into her hair, inhaled her scent. "Yeah I'm gonna show off. If this isn't the time to show you what I can do, I don't know what is."

  I stepped around the chair, brought her to the edge of the fale, set her on the platform. And wouldn't you know, considering how tall I was, the three-foot height of the raised platform--a stylistic element from the Seminole dwelling design--put her perfectly in position for all sorts of beautiful and dirty things.

  She kicked her legs and stared up at me, a nervous smile on her lips. "Show me all your tricks, Thresh."

  I dragged my palm over her tits, and then cupped her waist. "I plan to, Lola. Every single one."

  She bit her lip, brows furrowing as I hooked my fingers in the waistband of her yoga pants. "I bet you know a lot of tricks."

  "A few, yeah." Hauled one side of the stretchy cotton down past her hip, then the other side, using my one good hand. One side, then the other, until the pants were at her ankles, and then I yanked them off and tossed them over her shoulder into the fale along with her bra and my sling. "You got one of my tricks earlier, a demonstration of my manual dexterity and facility with the female orgasm."

  "I award you full marks for that effort," she breathed, and suddenly we were playing a little game. Good idea, make this fun, keep her mind off the nerves. "What is the next demonstration?"

  "Oral skills." I cupped the back of her neck, kissed her mouth, and this time I didn't hold back, this time I gave her the full mouth-fuck, tonguing her and scouring her lips with mine relentlessly until she was gasping into my mouth and sagging against me.

  "Jesus, Thresh. Where the hell'd you learn to kiss like that?"

  I shrugged. "Dunno. You just...bring it out of me."

  "Well it's bringing something out of me," she murmured, and then couldn't speak because she was gasping again as I laid her back onto the platform and leaned over her, taking her breast in my mouth, then the other, giving her tits the same thorough attention I'd given to her mouth.

  "Good," I said, around a mouthful of lush Samoan tit. "Let it all out."

  "I plan to. The way you use that mouth of yours, I don't think I'll have much choice."

  I kissed downward then, and felt my heartbeat ratchet up, because although I'd had my fingers in her pussy, I hadn't seen it yet, hadn't really gotten the full experience of it, and I was so fucking excited to see her bare for me, to feel her naked body, to get my mouth on her...I felt like a teenager, I was so giddy.

  Fortunately I hadn't lost my adult self-control or stamina, because as a teenager I'd not really had much of either. Now, though, I had both in spades. Men can and should do Kegels, let me tell you. Works wonders for holding off. That plus counting sheep? I could hold off almost at will, until I was ready to let go. Although I'd never been with anyone like Lola, a woman who turned me on this much, got me
this hard without even touching me. So I might not be as in control as I usually was.

  She was wearing a thong. Blue as the Caribbean Sea, nothing but an inch-wide strip of lace around her hips and a minuscule triangle over her pussy, and even then, the lace only barely disguised her sex, showed it in tantalizing glimpses and hints. I was already hard as a fucking rock, but when I saw that, I reared back, left her lying on the platform, tits bulging up and swaying to each side, hips wide, bell-shaped, perfect, and those thighs, my god, those thighs, muscular and thick and soft, framing her pussy in a tight wedge...

  I immediately began aching. I went so hard I bent in half as the top of my straightening cock hit the ceiling of my waistband.

  "Fuck, Lola," I growled.

  She lifted her head and glanced at me, perplexed by the fact that I'd stopped touching, and by the tone in my voice.

  "What's wrong, Thresh?"

  "Wrong? Nothing's wrong, honey." I slid both hands up her shins to her thighs. "Everything's perfect. You're perfect. I swear to god, I've never seen a more perfect woman in my whole life."

  She shut her eyes and let her head thump down on the wood platform. "Oh stop."

  I growled. "I'm serious. You are so fucking sexy I can't even handle it."

  She lifted up to rest on her elbows. Her hair framed her face and partially obscured her breasts, and her expression was...I wasn't sure. So happy, so grateful she was near tears? Let's go with that.

  "Thank you, Thresh."

  "No, Lola, thank you." I ran my hands up her thighs to her waist, hooked my fingers in the strap of lace around her hips. "Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for giving me this gift."

  She frowned, puzzled. "What gift?"

  I hauled that ridiculously, incredibly erotic thong down, and she lifted her ass to let me take it off; I tossed it on our growing pile of clothing. I knelt, and now she was at perfect face-height.

  I met her gaze, leaving my hands on her thighs, then gripped her, shook gently. "This. You." I tugged my hands apart, and she slowly, reluctantly let me open her thighs. "You're the gift, Lola. I've unwrapped you, now let me enjoy you."

  "I'm a little scared, Thresh." Her voice was small.

  I kept my eyes on hers. "Watch me. Look at me. Don't close your eyes."